Contemplating going to Taiwan with my brother and his friends next month. It's actually an all-guys' trip, but my brother insists it's all good and that I should go along. Sure, everyone will think it's cause Rainy's gonna be based there soon, but hey, a trip with friends would be awesome; and I've never minded being one of the guys anyway.
Rach is also thinking twice about it. Maybe if we get good deals, being the cheapskates we are, maybe..
Your views on drugs and alcohol.
So drugs are a no-no. Unless they're prescription drugs. Aaand you're not addicted to them. I don't want to be found foaming at the mouth and having to have my stomach pumped.
Alcohol is occasionally alright. Social drinking is fine. If I remember right, I don't think the Bible condones drinking--my dad and uncles have the occasional red wine or champagne together with our church's minister (teehee)--it's the dependency on alcohol and the tendency to get piss-drunk that totally ruins alcoholic consumption for society and the rest of us. I will admit I used to hate the smell of it; to a certain extent, I still do now. But staying in a foreign country with deathly freezing winter temperatures (think -16 degrees and crazy bicycle-toppling winds), it only seemed right to give it another whirl, and it turned out the nice warmth and heat it gave my throat and tummy was a breather to the cold.
Therefore, I now drink sometimes too. No getting drunk though ;) Wine or a little bubbly, plus, I use them in cooking too. Which kind of reminds me of when we were living in Beijing, Rainy wanted to bake us cookies, but despite our efforts in hunting it down, we couldn't seem to find any vanilla extract. Thus, he substituted it with Russian vodka. Genius, eh? When you think about it, they both smell alike anyway. So the cookies turned out amazing. Another example of why alcohol can be alright as long as its not put to its (consumers') limits. True story.
Where you'd like to be in 10 years.
Ten years, I'd be thirty-five. Well, THAT's depressing. Haha!
In all seriousness though, in ten years, if we were to be completely, utterly honest with each other, and, what the heck, throw in some idealism, I'd want to have my own family. I'm thinking, soccer mom with three, four kids? I could stay at home or follow those semi-stay-at-home-mum trend that's been getting more and more popular these days--juggle both home, husband, kids and maybe a business on the side. That's the ideal world.
'Course, we never know how things turn out, I could always end up one of those forever-alone types, although dear God, I hope and pray that's not how it will be. I think deep down, everyone wants a family, whether or not that entails children, at least a partner in and throughout life, y'know?
Gosh, it used to be that at my age, people were well on their way to establishing families. Heck, my own parents were parents already to two kids at my age!! My friends and I wonder sometimes, how our parents managed to be stable and build up their lives at such a young age; the thought makes us feel inadequate and inferior. Maybe it's different times, different priorities. I don't know. To be honest, while I used to think I knew what I wanted, right now, I don't think I do--how can I when I haven't felt like I've fully established myself to be adequate enough to even begin to fathom the idea of starting a family? Maybe I have the guy. Maybe I have the right intentions. But the prerequisites needed for the future? I don't think I'm quite there yet.. Sigh.
So many thoughts. Let's see. A lot of praying and thinking up ahead, eh? And still so much to look forward to. I am genuinely excited to see how the next ten years of life go :)
So this was supposed to be my birthday post. I wanted to write twenty-five stuff/people/experiences I am thankful for, but having so been out of the writing/blogging loop for a while now, it's getting harder and harder to think of things to write. Thus, this is going to be my eight-groups-of-people-I-thank-God-for-because-it's-the-eighth-day-of-the-month. Lame. Shoot me now.
1. Thank you, Lord, for twenty-five years of Your faithfulness, love and grace. For your gift of salvation, despite being the most undeserving of it all.
2. Thank you, Lord, for my mom. A mom who I've always proclaimed to be the best in the world, notwithstanding every other kid's claim that theirs is the best. A mom who stayed at home to raise three kids in a foreign country, away from family, who epitomized the term 'soccer mom' for me, who made me want to someday be a mother too because of how much fun she seemed to have. A mom who brought me to school every time the driver couldn't, even when I was already in uni, just because I was too afraid to take public transportation in Manila; how I loved the time we spent in the car, chatting, talking about everything under the sun, praying together. A mom who taught me how to drive, who got mad the night before I was to take the driving test, because she was so stressed out I would forget it all. A mom who I remember hugging a crying me to sleep the night before I was to leave for a semester in Beijing, a mom who always text messaged me even when I was in another country. A mom who got angry when I hid something from her, rightly so, but also a mom who wiped my tears and became my biggest supporter in terms of my love life, who cried when I cried, and who was more thrilled than I when I was thrilled. I made her cry more times than I should have or ever wanted to, but who still loves me unconditionally, who lets me be, but guides me still. Who has always wanted the best for me and him, who prayed and continues to pray for us, the perfect model of a submissive wife and loving, Godly mother.
3. Thank you, Lord, for my dad. I know I'm no longer the same clingy little girl I used to be, but I still am that little girl who looks up to him with wide-eyed adoration. My dad who took on crazy jobs when we moved to Vancouver, who took us on hikes and biking trips, and watched hockey with us (Go, Canucks!!!). Even if we may disagree more times in a week now than we ever have in most of my twenty-five years of life, he forgives and loves me still. I'm not under the illusion that I have been the ideal daughter, but how many kids out there can testify to a dad who apologizes when he knows he is at fault? A dad who has always been of utmost perfection, of upright Christian character, which is not to say that there were times that I did not like the expectation of being as good as he is, but to whom I look up to even so. I let him down so much, but still he is there.
4. Thank you, Lord, for my brother, who was there for me, letting me crash him and his friends' nights out during the hardest period of my life, sometimes (grudgingly) letting me use him for personal driver purposes. Surprisingly, it's also my brother in whom I find a most unlikely ally in certain family battles and issues. We don't always get along, and I know we piss each other off more often than we should be, but you just know that the love is there, unspoken, but true.
5. Thank you, Lord, for my sister, who I can always talk silly too; seriously, the conversations we have are too ridiculous for anyone to ever understand :p I know we hardly ever see eye-to-eye, me vs. my ultimately-perfect-Godly-every-parent's-dream-daughter sister, but I do love her so.
6. Thank you, Lord, for my huge and amazing family, all my aunts, uncles, cousins and grandpa. We've had so much fun over the years, and you just know that without God in the center of our household, we couldn't have ever managed being so close all these years--my second parents and siblings. People always wonder how we all manage to remain close with no real family fueds or clashes, but we always know it's only God who keeps us together. For my grandpa, my angkong, who, even though he's old and weak, in times when he is lucid, clings to my hand and pats me, smiling and saying what a good girl I am. I don't say it or show it as much as I should, but I love my angkong so much; he's the only grandparent I have most memories of.
7. Thank you, Lord, for Rainy. Well, you know all about that already, I've said so much about him. It's definitely not been an easy ride, but thank you for giving me such an amazing guy outside my already awesome family who I can call my best friend, who loves me even if I have disappointed him over and over again. I know You've given him to me for a reason.
8. Thank you, Lord, for my friends--my Beijing family, the guys I grew up with and all other friends in between. They've all touched my life in one way or another, and most of them are forever friends, my family and home away from home. My BJ girls who saw me through my darkest hours, the boys who hugged me when they ran out of stuff to say. I could not ask for a better bunch I can be totally myself with.
Thank you, Lord, for a fresh start every day, every morning. I am most undeserving of everything You've given me, most especially all of the aforementioned. I know I am a terrible person, imperfect and perhaps the most pig-headed and stubborn of all Your children, but still you love me, and give me what I need and want. I love you, I can only hope and work toward lifting Your name higher, as well as giving back to those people above, and to the rest of world I may encounter. Grant me the wisdom and strength to get through the next chapter of my life, because it's crazy scary not knowing what's in store for me, except that thought that You have and always will go before me :)
Love,
Pau
Your current relationship. If single, discuss how single life is.
So.. I don't know if talking about this will get me in trouble or not. Haha!
Well, I guess it's a known fact which guy my heart belongs to in this world; I say this world because ultimately, it's God, but that's a whole other story. We're taking things easy, enjoying the days as they come, becoming better friends, better people to each other, and hopefully to the people around us as well. Growing and learning together. I never really had a problem being single before all this, and I don't know if this makes me seem conceited, but I know for a fact that was a strong girl standing on my own, although that's not to say I never had family to lean on when I needed them. But things change, people change. I saw what it was like to be with someone, to have someone holding your hand through life stuff, a partner who doesn't walk before you or behind you, but rather beside you. He who looks out for you and looks at you the way no one ever has, who sees beauty in the world and in you when you can't see it for yourself. Who always is honest and frank, bluntly telling you things you do not want to hear, because that's just how it is with you guys, and who always wants you to become better, even when it hurts. He who tries to get to know your family and have them fall in love with him, too, who you know is in it with you through the thickest or thinnest of times. Who makes you cry and laugh, who you can be absolutely silly with and not worry about looking ridiculous in front of, someone with whom you can just sit in comfortable silence with.
First, I never meant to fall in love with him, that's the most honest truth I can say. And secondly, when I did, I tried so hard to not be. It started out that we detested each other when we were kids, but met again years later and found we could actually be friends. From then on, it was all up; he became a really good friend turned best friend if only minus the tension. And I prayed, in the craziest and most annoying way: if it wasn't to be, then don't let it be, but if He was God's best, then hey, bring it on, let him fall in love with me. Take note, this prayer was way before I fell for him, but at the time when we were becoming great pals and I was just slowly starting to see the qualities that made him likable beyond just friends.
Being single isn't all that bad--in fact, it may even be for some people to be strong alone for life--although it's probably a state that's harder to go back to now if you've known what it was like to walk with someone beside you.
I can honestly say though, that while I have very sure and strong feelings, I don't know where all this is heading. I can pray, wish, beg, but still I don't know; God knows I wish I did. It hasn't been easy--WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH!! Ultimately though, it's His plan. But an assurance I take refuge in is, He knows my heart :)
So in hopes of reviving the will to write more again, I found this (see below). Okay, so maybe I'm hoping this will at least force me to :)
Day 01 - Your current relationship. If single, discuss how single life is.
Day 02 - Where you’d like to be in 10 years.
Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 04 - Your views on religion.
Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life.
Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.
Day 07 - Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.
Day 08 - A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.
Day 09 - How you hope your future will be like.
Day 10 - Discuss your first love and first kiss.
Day 11 - Put your iPod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.
Day 12 - Bullet your whole day.
Day 13 - Somewhere you’d like to move or visit.
Day 14 - Your earliest memory.
Day 15 - Your favorite tumblrs.
Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music.
Day 17 - Your highs and lows of this past year.
Day 18 - Your beliefs.
Day 19 - Disrespecting your parents.
Day 20 - How important you think education is.
Day 21 - One of your favorite shows.
Day 22 - How have you changed in the past 2 years?
Day 23 - Give pictures of 5 guys who are famous who you find attractive.
Day 24 - Your favorite movie and what it’s about.
Day 25 - Someone who fascinates you and why.
Day 26 - What kind of person attracts you.
Day 27 - A problem that you have had.
Aaaaaaaand I'll start tomorrow. Too much stuff to finish now, must not slack off!
I LOVE this video!!
So Rainy sent it to me a while ago with the instructions to "JUST WATCH IT!!!" (cause I tend to ask a lot of questions like "Why?" "What's that?" "What for?"), and while watching it, I thought, that is so him!!! Haha he admits it, the big kid :p