I don't know when I will ever be completely okay, or IF I will ever be really okay. Believe me, I do want to be.
I think Siah was put on this earth to keep reminding me of you. He asked me during Christmas eve dinner, "If Ahia Rainy was not in China, would he be having dinner with us?" All I could say was, I don't know, maybe he'll spend it with his family. Josiah's so cute. Such a boy, but he does say the darndest things.
I still miss you. Bwisit. I try not to though.
I really thought we'd spend the holidays together. Maybe not physically present, but TOGETHER at least. Guess I took for granted that you would always be around for every Christmas, every birthday, every holiday.
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