Okay, so I didn't exactly get the sleep I was looking forward to, but closing your eyes pretending to sleep for 8 hours isn't so bad once you've gotten used to it :D
So the past month, I've been living one day at a time, going through the motions, trying to look forward to one little extraordinary thing that could come that day. Not exactly seizing the day, I know, but it's something. It could be going out for 奶茶 after work, or a massage, or a Wii marathon with my kid cousins, anything that would even just slightly break the rigidity of every day life. Well, lucky me, I have a bridal shower tonight, this counts as something extra special!
It's cliche, but I'm pretty sure it has always been almost every little girl's dream to one day get married to her idea of Prince Charming, and yes, I have been the cliche-ic girl of old, wanting nothing more than to meet, fall in love with the guy who would also be my best friend, and eventually my partner in life, after which we would live happily ever after, and have a whole van-load of kids. Well, I got the first two, the last part's just been put on hold. Indefinitely. Permanently? I don't know. A friend and I have already come up with a contingency plan in case we end up spinsters/old maids, God forbid. Hahaha
So a lot's changed in the past month. There's learning how to do things, going about my day alone. Not physically, of course, people are always around, family, friends, perfect strangers, but rather, emotionally. You know the feeling of knowing that there's always that one person you can message or call in an instant just cause some rude guy stole your parking space after you've been waiting for 15 minutes? It's like being so sure, secure. And if that someone is not only the guy you're in love with, but also your best friend, well, it makes things a million times better. There are absolutely no pretenses, not when you're with someone who knows you inside out, and yet still wants to be with you in spite of. Good things usually come to an end, as has been the case for me.
That first month away was terrible, especially on Saturdays, just going through the motions of my day, cause Saturdays were usually spent with him, trying to some new place, getting milk tea, enjoying. Well, after three months and thirteen days since he's left, I've gotten a bit used to it. Saturdays still suck, but not as much. I get to go out and meet my friends a whole lot more--lunches, dinners, partying, milk tea dates.
And can I just say, I LOVE YOU GIRLS FOR BEING HERE THIS WHOLE TIME, being sad with me and trying to slap me out of it when my pity parties get to be too much. Sorry that I sometimes become a burden, and that it's really 麻烦 to try cheering me up when I won't. I love how Beijing gave me the best people, the bestest friends; granted, our friendships were sped up by the amount of time we spent together and our proximity to each other, and the whole being so far from home factor, not to mention the experiences we've had. But then, you guys have become my forever friends, I couldn't imagine having things any other way :)
Wow, I think this was the last time we were all together. So long, Shani's been to Beijing and back already. Haha!
Ack, I'm really in no mood to write. My mind's all over the place, obviously. But yesterday was a good day. And today feels good. It's started out good, I'm hoping it will get better :)
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