So this was supposed to be my birthday post. I wanted to write twenty-five stuff/people/experiences I am thankful for, but having so been out of the writing/blogging loop for a while now, it's getting harder and harder to think of things to write. Thus, this is going to be my eight-groups-of-people-I-thank-God-for-because-it's-the-eighth-day-of-the-month. Lame. Shoot me now.
1. Thank you, Lord, for twenty-five years of Your faithfulness, love and grace. For your gift of salvation, despite being the most undeserving of it all.
2. Thank you, Lord, for my mom. A mom who I've always proclaimed to be the best in the world, notwithstanding every other kid's claim that theirs is the best. A mom who stayed at home to raise three kids in a foreign country, away from family, who epitomized the term 'soccer mom' for me, who made me want to someday be a mother too because of how much fun she seemed to have. A mom who brought me to school every time the driver couldn't, even when I was already in uni, just because I was too afraid to take public transportation in Manila; how I loved the time we spent in the car, chatting, talking about everything under the sun, praying together. A mom who taught me how to drive, who got mad the night before I was to take the driving test, because she was so stressed out I would forget it all. A mom who I remember hugging a crying me to sleep the night before I was to leave for a semester in Beijing, a mom who always text messaged me even when I was in another country. A mom who got angry when I hid something from her, rightly so, but also a mom who wiped my tears and became my biggest supporter in terms of my love life, who cried when I cried, and who was more thrilled than I when I was thrilled. I made her cry more times than I should have or ever wanted to, but who still loves me unconditionally, who lets me be, but guides me still. Who has always wanted the best for me and him, who prayed and continues to pray for us, the perfect model of a submissive wife and loving, Godly mother.
3. Thank you, Lord, for my dad. I know I'm no longer the same clingy little girl I used to be, but I still am that little girl who looks up to him with wide-eyed adoration. My dad who took on crazy jobs when we moved to Vancouver, who took us on hikes and biking trips, and watched hockey with us (Go, Canucks!!!). Even if we may disagree more times in a week now than we ever have in most of my twenty-five years of life, he forgives and loves me still. I'm not under the illusion that I have been the ideal daughter, but how many kids out there can testify to a dad who apologizes when he knows he is at fault? A dad who has always been of utmost perfection, of upright Christian character, which is not to say that there were times that I did not like the expectation of being as good as he is, but to whom I look up to even so. I let him down so much, but still he is there.
4. Thank you, Lord, for my brother, who was there for me, letting me crash him and his friends' nights out during the hardest period of my life, sometimes (grudgingly) letting me use him for personal driver purposes. Surprisingly, it's also my brother in whom I find a most unlikely ally in certain family battles and issues. We don't always get along, and I know we piss each other off more often than we should be, but you just know that the love is there, unspoken, but true.
5. Thank you, Lord, for my sister, who I can always talk silly too; seriously, the conversations we have are too ridiculous for anyone to ever understand :p I know we hardly ever see eye-to-eye, me vs. my ultimately-perfect-Godly-every-parent's-dream-daughter sister, but I do love her so.
6. Thank you, Lord, for my huge and amazing family, all my aunts, uncles, cousins and grandpa. We've had so much fun over the years, and you just know that without God in the center of our household, we couldn't have ever managed being so close all these years--my second parents and siblings. People always wonder how we all manage to remain close with no real family fueds or clashes, but we always know it's only God who keeps us together. For my grandpa, my angkong, who, even though he's old and weak, in times when he is lucid, clings to my hand and pats me, smiling and saying what a good girl I am. I don't say it or show it as much as I should, but I love my angkong so much; he's the only grandparent I have most memories of.
7. Thank you, Lord, for Rainy. Well, you know all about that already, I've said so much about him. It's definitely not been an easy ride, but thank you for giving me such an amazing guy outside my already awesome family who I can call my best friend, who loves me even if I have disappointed him over and over again. I know You've given him to me for a reason.
8. Thank you, Lord, for my friends--my Beijing family, the guys I grew up with and all other friends in between. They've all touched my life in one way or another, and most of them are forever friends, my family and home away from home. My BJ girls who saw me through my darkest hours, the boys who hugged me when they ran out of stuff to say. I could not ask for a better bunch I can be totally myself with.
Thank you, Lord, for a fresh start every day, every morning. I am most undeserving of everything You've given me, most especially all of the aforementioned. I know I am a terrible person, imperfect and perhaps the most pig-headed and stubborn of all Your children, but still you love me, and give me what I need and want. I love you, I can only hope and work toward lifting Your name higher, as well as giving back to those people above, and to the rest of world I may encounter. Grant me the wisdom and strength to get through the next chapter of my life, because it's crazy scary not knowing what's in store for me, except that thought that You have and always will go before me :)
Love,
Pau
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