I take it back. I do want for more; it's actually sitting the fence between want and need. It's a shame that it's something I have to keep to myself and not be able to share it with anyone (for now), not even my best friend. Not even my closest girlfriends. Well, God knows. He should, seeing as how He's the only One who can really get into my head. I guess it's just right, since these kinds of things are the type only He can figure out.
I did ask for something like this before. It seemed impossible. I meant it, I'm sure I did, but how I remember it, I remember it as an afterthought to my before-bed prayers. It was sincere, cause I remember praying for it a lot, and by a lot, I mean, several months. So when it came, when I got it, while I didn't immediately flash back to the time when I surprised myself and prayed for it that first time, I knew it was something I couldn't have gotten, at least not on my own merits. It's not that I lack confidence in myself, I just know what I am capable of and what I'm not. Anyhow, I realized that God answered that prayer like a month into this thing. And I was gobsmacked at the very least. That He would give me something seemingly unreachable, and so so beautiful. Hint.
Just a random slow day thought.
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