I should be happy; I SHOULD be. But I'm kind of half in it, half not.
This is not easy at all. I wish you'd open your eyes, open your mind a bit more, damnit, open your heart.
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So just maybe, I don't matter as much as I used to to you, or I just don't matter that much at all. Or it could just be me. I hope it's the last bit.
Let's see, eh?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
"For so long, I've been loving You from a distance because I was afraid of Your silence. Because Your silence speaks to me more deeply than any words could ever say. Because I was afraid of who I would be when I was alone with You. Because I didn’t want to be rejected.
For so long, I’ve been loving You from a distance, holding myself hostage to the sound of You; running away from the thought of You loving me so deeply, that I would lose myself and never be able to find who I used to be.
For so long, I’ve been trying loving You from a distance but I can’t even survive without You. You are not only the air I breathe; You are the lungs I breathe with. And without You, there is this vacant void that causes me to collapse at the very center of who I am. And that’s what I mean when I say You’re breathtaking.
You cared for me with a gentleness that made me want to love You more than I ever thought possible.
And I want to give all of my heart to You even though I don’t know what that feels like.
You love me privately, publicly, lonely, lovely or ugly.
And I want to give You the keys to every room in this room in this house I call my heart.
And that means nothing is off-limits to You.”
- Amena Brown